Heart Talk

Well, this will be a quite emotional post for June. I rarely write some heart post since when, I can't remember. I think should be long time ago? The first reason is I always tell myself to have a positive thought, I bet everything will be okay. But then recently, I seriously feel stress, or I should say I'm too negative and down. My family, my love, and my friends. Maybe some people who close to me knew that I'm quite straightforward? or I'm likely to hurt someone with my words? My emotion really lead along my attitude. I'm so sorry when I feel bad, I did ignored my brother and my mom too. It is really bad. I shouldn't be that. That day, I ignored my brother when he tried to ask me some questions. Actually I can answer him but I didn't. However, Brother still the person who is the most comfortable to talk to. Even if we have some conflicts but afterwards, we'll like nothing had happened. That's glad.

First, I really so curious about how my boyfriend can endure my attitude because I've been so emotional sometimes. I wonder how was his reaction in front of the phone. Perhaps smashing his phone? :\ I don't like to joke with him especially when I'm in a bad mood because he is the one who will take care of my future, he should be know we very well than others do. But then I can fooling around with my friends, maybe this made him feel a little bit unfair and grew the jealousy? I tried to be independent, I kept all the troubles but this made me more even stress. Just now, I found out a blogger who broke up with her boyfriend, I thought how sad I will be if that is me. I really scare to lose you but I don't know when will you finally can't stand with me anymore. This make me down again now. 

My friends. I still can remember how my secondary's life was. The most upset phase for me, because of my stubbornness, I lost my friends who I care the most. Although we are still the best buddy, but I really wish to get back our gang like before. I don't know why it happened, but it really happened. So, don't ask me why because I can't give you an answer. :3 I think now the history is about to iterate as I'm so confuse about the friendship now. Seriously I don't like people to constrain me. You are my friend or my mom or my companion? I don't need you to ask about my routines and this only make yourself so annoyed. I'm so stubborn. This call Si Pattern. :\ When I don't really like you, I could speak out, otherwise I will just silent myself. But then I still have my best friends who I can always tell them my life. You can stalk me to know who is she or who are them? Lastly, I'm good to you but please remember it isn't a should. Only best friend deserve it.

So sorry about this annoying post. Finally feel a little bit lighter after throw out all the thoughts.

I'm thinking should I post it out? Or just keep it as draft.

And this is my choice.

I kept this post for days.

Now I'm getting better. :) 

smile! :) we are twins!